Well, it’s Christmas morning – earlier than I expected to be up, but here I am all the same. I kind of misread the clock this morning, so when Ivy called out I said she could get up – turns out it was only 6, not 7… ah well!
Thankfully there are some Christmas cartoons on this morning to keep her in the spirit, now that we have another hour to kill before everyone arrives and she can open some presents.
I recieved a present this morning. I think you’d have to say it was a gift – my short story was moved forward in the Critters queue and is up for critique now, rather than in two weeks time when I expected it to be. While initially I was freaking out, now I am kind of happy – it means I don’t have to wait. I will start getting some crits sooner rather than later, I won’t end up spending the next two weeks thinking about it and overanalyzing my story or worrying about what kind of crits I’ll get back.
And besides, maybe I won’t get that many since everyone is in holiday mode ;-)
I didn’t get much sleep last night, so I’m pretty tired today. My Mum, step dad, brother, sister in law and nephew are all due to around in just over an hour now for breakfast and I am really looking forward to that.
Normally I have to split Christmas up in several ways. My parents are divorced, so that’s two meals taken. We normally take Ivy out to her biological mother’s side of the family for Christmas lunch, and then sometimes the in laws are in town, and I have to make sure I see my Nana if she’s not at either of my parents.
This year my Dad lives in a different city (he’s coming down tomorrow), Nana is down south with my Uncle and the in laws aren’t in town until tomorrow as well, which means there is a lot less running around to do today.
Breakfast should be nice, and the lunch drop of should be interesting.
I have to confess to loving and hating Christmas, I love being able to spend time with my family, I love watching Ivy open her presents and have as much fun as she does. I hate having to drop her off for a few hours.
I’m kind of selfishly hoping that one year we won’t have to, but her maternal grandmother is pretty good at organizing it. It’s a complex situation really, one which I am sure a lot of families face these days. I mean, I have the split family thing as well, I know how it goes. It doesn’t make it any easier though. Doesn’t make the anxious pit in my stomach go away.
I know she is a smart girl, a resilient girl, but that doesn’t mean I don’t worry. She’s not seen any of these people for more than six months, and while logically I know they are family, a part of me cringes at the thought of leaving her with them. They only live 20minutes away, they could see her more often than a few times a year if they wanted to. I know they love her, but I wish they would make an effort to be a regular part of her life rather than just expecting to see her on the big holidays.
Every time we drop her off I pretty much count the hours until our girl is home safely with us. Last year it was only an hour, which while in some ways was wonderful, was also frustrating. We’d dropped her out there and then a half hour later gotten a text message that her mother had taken her back to her house and we could pick her up in twenty minutes. Ivy had been really excited about seeing everyone that year, she’d still been seeing them on a regular basis at that point, but no, her mother decided to change all the plans – Ivy didn’t even get to have lunch, or spend much time with her Nana.
This year she doesn’t seem to know who I am talking about when I mention this other side of her family. I’m sure she will remember when she sees them. I’m hoping she does and has a really good time. I hope she knows that we’re not leaving her there because we don’t want to spend time with her, it’s just because we kind of have to.
One year I hope we can just spend all Christmas with each other. Yes, I am a selfish mummy and I don’t really like sharing my little girl. But I know I have to.