There seem to be so many little instances in the life of a parent which call for you to let go, just a little bit more.
It’s scary, and not entirely pleasant at times, but I have to keep reminding myself that she needs this from me. Needs my support, my encouragement – my sense of pride in her is completely obvious at least.
I just dropped Ivy off at a dance workshop. Her dance studio has one every year (though this is Ivy’s first year of dance), this year there are some dancers from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang here and they are learning some routines and putting a show on in just over an hour.
It’s exciting stuff, but I have to admit that I almost didn’t want to wake her up from her nap to take her down. Part of me thought that would be easier than taking her there and having to walk away and leave her to it.
But it’s not about whats easier for me though. It’s about what my girl wants, what she needs – and she wanted to go, and she needs me to show her that it’s a good thing, to show her that I think she’s completely able to do this without me.
She’s been excited about it for weeks now and all I can hope is that it’s as much fun as she expects it to be. I am so unbelievably proud of her. I keep thinking about me as a four year old and I don’t know if I would have had the courage to do this. I’m not sure at what age fear started to grip me – all I really know is that she is one amazing little girl and there are days when I aspire to have even half of the courage that she does.
I hope she can keep it intact. I’ll do everything that I can to make sure that she does.