So, I’ve not been keeping up with my writing. I have some really great excuses for it – this weekend was majorly disruptive and while the kitchen looks fab now that I’ve finally cleaned all the dust and junk out of it, I simply didn’t have the time or energy to work on anything at all over the weekend.
Now it’s Tuesday, and my stack of crit work has piled up again and I’m contemplating the best way to get through it all so that I can get back to my novel.
And then it hit me. MY novel is just as important as this crit work, in fact, in some ways it’s MORE important. Why on earth am I not putting it first?
Yeah… very good question. On examining it a little further, I realize that I feel an obligation to turn around these crits in a timely manner, and the only way to really do that is to put my own work on the back burner. Then I have to ask myself why I don’t feel like my writing is important enough to be my number one priority (in the writing part of my life anyways).
I’m not sure.
I think maybe I feel a little like I am ‘better’ at the crit stuff than I am at writing – or at least, I’ve had more recent validation in the critique area than I have had in regards to my writing. It has a quicker feel good effect. I email off my crit, I get back some thanks fairly quickly – almost instant gratifcation. That’s a nice thing.
For my writing? Other than the pure and simply enjoyment I get out of it, what else am I getting? I’m not published, I’m not even pursuing publishing right this minute, I’ve got no fans other than some friends and family – there is not the same level of gratifcation coming from it. And maybe that is why I put the critting first. Maybe right now I need to feel that little bit of appreciation, need to feel like I’m good at something (other than being a Mum and wife).
Anyway, when it comes down to it, I need to put my writing first. Even if what that means is that I get just 500 words done before I so much as look at someone elses work. Even though that will mean my turn around time on them is longer than I might like. I don’t have a million hours in the day, I can’t do everything I would like to. It’s that simple.
I’m writing now, and then hoping I have some time later to get a crit done… lol