I’ve been trying, for the last couple of days, to pick a new project. But nothing is calling to me right now. I finished two stories and submitted them in the last week and maybe my brain is taking some time to readjust to the lessons I’ve learned, or maybe I’m just tired.
Either way, despite having plenty of things I could be working on, I’ve been doing a whole lot of nothing. I have my pretty little list of things that need finishing, I just don’t happen to want to work on any of those though. Now and then, a stray thought will wander into my mind and I’ll reach back to the story it came from. I’ll get hopeful, I’ll start feeling the urge, but by the time I actually get to a computer and open the right story up I am feeling far less enthusiastic about it.
It might be the fact that my beautiful eldest daughter starts school in two days (well, school visits, but try telling my brain that – it KNOWS she starts full time, for real, in just over a week but can’t see the difference between that and these visits). That I’m trying to organize a birthday party and work out the logistics of making sure I have a cake for her last day of preschool on Friday, one for her party on Saturday (as well as everything else), and something nice for afternoon tea on Sunday (which is her actual birthday). Or that I am dreading saying ‘see ya’ to the staff at her preschool – they’ve become friends, but you know, like work friends that you tend not to see a whole lot of once you have left your job. I’ll really miss them, but I know that our paths won’t cross a whole lot after this and even if they do, it won’t be the same.
And on top of all this my hormones are all over the place, making all of this more tearful than it really needs to be. My little girl is growing up. We’re transitioning into another phase of life here and it’s a tad scary. I have to admit that while we’re both excited, we’re also kinda nervous.
I guess this is the first of this years big changes – there are plenty more to come. And it will be fine, it will, within a matter of weeks it’ll all feel normal and I’ll be wondering why on earth I was so anxious about it. Right?
In other news I am now 18 weeks pregnant. Oh my, that’s almost halfway! We have our anatomy scan on the 12th of Feb, so I’ll be taking guesses on what gender you think baby will be for a few days before that 😉 fingers crossed we’ll actually be able to see this time around. I think that date marks the end of the mad rush that was/is the start of 2010 (fingers crossed) and hopefully it won’t take too long to get into some kind of new (and wonderful) routine.