After writing this post I see that it might not make a whole lot of sense to some people, but I’m still going to post it. I feel the need. ‘Nuff said.
So, I’m working on the rewrite for a story I wrote years ago. About 5 years ago to be more precise. Merrilee asked for a read. I sent it through, giving all the right warnings (it’s a very early story and even I know its terrible!). It got me thinking about when I wrote it, the class I wrote it for, what was happening in my life back then – what happened before then to mean my life was in the place it was.
Far out. So much can change in just five years. Sitting here looking back, I can hardly believe just how much has changed. I would never in a million years have imagined that this is where I would be if I had tried to look 5 years into the future, thats for sure.
I’m in a much better space. I have everything I ever really wanted: a husband, kids, a house, my animals, a garden, fruit trees, hell I even have a section of white picket fencing. And I get to write every day. Doesn’t get a whole lot better than that. Of course being paid for what I do would be nice, but right now it’s not necessary 😉
It was certainly a possibility that I might not be here at all. That I am is a credit to my family, and I guess to myself as well. Yeah, I’ll take some credit for that. It could have gone either way but I’m here and I’m strong. Stronger than I’ve ever been before, even in my weak moments.
Sometimes though, a trip down memory lane does boggle the mind. I think back to who I was then and it hits me right in the chest.
Cassie of more than five years ago, I do still feel your pain, even though I no longer have to live it. You might not be on the surface of me, waiting to crack, but you are there, comforted, loved and cushioned by the rest of me, the bits of me that aren’t broken.
And you know what? You make me a better person, and a better writer. I’ll never forget you.