I wrote yesterday. To be more precise – I wrote, I deleted, I wrote, I deleted, I wrote, I saved a few sentences and deleted the rest, and then I wrote again.
At some point in the day I wondered just how many times I was going to begin and then delete the second scene of the story I am working on. It’s only a first draft. I don’t normally delete this much/often in a first draft.
And then it hit me that because I am increasingly aware of my bad habits as a writer (telling, not showing. Using a passive voice. Scenes which don’t move the story forward much/could be blended with other scenes. Other little things), I’m working harder not to include them in the first draft. Wouldn’t it be lovely not to have to correct those things?
One day, I’m sure I’ll get to that point, but for now I really need to find a balance between making changes to the way I initially write and ACTUALLY GETTING THE WRITING DONE. Once again it comes back to that good old ‘you can only edit words you’ve written’ thing.
So, today I’m just going to write. I’m going to pick ONE thing to stay conscious of and keep that in mind as I write, but I’m not going to be too hard on myself. I can’t keep learning if I’m not actually writing. And I need to get this draft finished. It’s just the first draft, regardless of whether I eliminate all my bad habits in it or not, it’s still going to need work.
Is this why some people get writers block? They are so worried about making the same mistakes again, so conscious of trying to put out their best work on the first round that they simple don’t/can’t make any progress at all? It’s the first time I’ve considered that this might be why – though for the life of me I still can’t understand why it would stop the words from happening for longer than a day or so. You sit down, you write. You can make it better later on.
I think focusing on one issue at a time will work better for me, otherwise I might find myself ‘blocked’ too.