Today I was hoping to report that I’d finally had some decent sleep. That I was feeling more alive and ready to start writing. That I was just feeling good in general.

I can’t.

I’m so freaking tired that I can’t think. I can barely type straight because there are tears in my eyes. I have been awake since 2.30am and while I’ll try to nap later when the toddler does, I never have much luck with day sleeps. I can’t blame her, even though she’s the one keeping me up. She’s sick, she has an ear infection, she’s probably teething. She’s not eating most real foods – all she wants is to breast feed for hours on end and watch the Wiggles.

All I want to do it sleep.

And the funeral is tomorrow. At this point I’m not even sure I can force myself to go, it seems too hard, too much of an expense of energy I just don’t have to spare.

I have dishes to do, and parcels to posts. I have things I need to get from the supermarket. And it’s raining.


22 thoughts on “Seriously?”

  1. Hey honey, *hugs* tiredness and funeral’s don’t go well together, and you have a double dose at the moment. Just take care of yourself. You never know, tonight might be the night she sleeps out of pure exhaustion.

    You’re in my thoughts over the next few days. *hugs* Again! 🙂

    1. Thanks Anna. It’s gotta get better! lol I’m encouraged by the fact that most newborns sleep better than Lauren does now… so, it can’t get much worse.

  2. I third the *hugs*. Things don’t sound too great at the moment. Just know that we’re thinking of you and hoping you get some sleep and pull through okay.

    1. Thanks Kayla. We’ve actually had a lot of sunny days here, stunning autumn days (lovely chills in the morning, sun all through the day, cool nights). The rain today was unexpected, and not that welcome when one has things to do out and about with a toddler in tow! lol

  3. Ugh, sounds like you’re having a rough go of it. I hope Lauren feels better soon, and that you’re able to begin getting more sleep.

  4. Will send some healing for Lauren and you too – no guarantees as per usual, however, lots and lots of love and compassion for these days of unending exhaustion.

  5. I feel for you. Just ride the wave – normal life will come out of hiding sooner or later! My littlest (& last) is turning 3 next week. No more baby stuff – nappies / bottles / cots… all big-girl stuff now. Boy, am I cuddling her for all I’m worth!

    Praying for much grace to wrap you in heavenly cottonwool. 🙂

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