Way to kill my flow, midwife.

The writing has been going well. I’m not spending a lot of time consciously thinking about the next steps for my MC, they are just evolving naturally out of the story. I know where she needs to get to, and it’s fun to take her on a twisty path to that destination, avoiding death and capture along the way, revealing tidbits of other information as we go.

Most days, I’ve thought to myself ‘ug, I just cannot write’. Then at some point I’ll find myself sitting here with the document open and I’ll be writing. It’s lovely not to feel like I HAVE to, and yet have the words come naturally at the same time. They want to come, I’m not having to cajole or bribe. Thank goodness, because I barely have the energy to cajole the toddler and school kid let alone some wayward words 😉

Then I saw my midwife today and she said the dreaded line (dreaded, because she said it last time and it was bang on the money).

‘We’ll see you next week then, if not before.’

No, thank you. I’ll just see you at my next appointment. I’m not having my baby this weekend, not even in the next week. Sometime after the next appointment, sure, but not this week.

Not because there is anything I desperately have to do, but just because I would like one more week. I have dinner and a game to go to on Saturday night with hubby’s work. I’ve got a couple stories I want to play with. A couple critiques I’d like to finish. Yeah, another week would be good.

I’ve been sitting here since then, pretty much repeating my new mantra ‘I am not having a baby this week’, which of course, is drawing attention to all the little niggles in my body.

I’m well aware that all midwifes begin to use these lines towards the end of a pregnancy. I know they are just words, not some prediction or educated guess. Just words. It doesn’t mean a thing.

But can I stop thinking about it?


I should go and write. Maybe having someone else die instead of my MC will help get this tension out of my body.

She’s pregnant, by the way. I know I was avoiding baby stories but meh. She’s only four months along so at least SHE won’t be going into labour any time soon. But she needs to get out of the city before they kill her for getting knocked up in the first place.

Side note: I’m not at all worried about labour. I felt incredibly empowered and awesome after the last one, so I’m kind of looking forward to it. I think it’s more the fact that wow this pregnancy is getting close to the end and boy life is going to be different very, very soon. It’s a simple fact, and nothing can stop it. Yup, there goes all feeling of control 😉


11 thoughts on “Way to kill my flow, midwife.”

  1. I got “your next appointment is Tuesday [which was EDD], but I’m sure I’ll hear from you before then.” Tuesday came and went and still no baby. You never know, it could come late.

    1. It might. I know they are just words, they don’t mean anything. I just very vividly remember the last time I heard them and then things kicking off two days later.

      I could well go late. I’m not huge, or uncomfortable, my body is coping just fine. I’m in my happy ‘I’m having a baby somewhere in the next 0-5 weeks’ mindset this morning.

    1. lol, yes I think I’m more annoyed at the way the comment derailed me today than I am at anything else 😉 Not long til baby!

  2. Crossing my fingers you get one extra week before the out-of-control miracle arrives.

    It is so exciting to read about, though — as a woman who’s never had one. 😉

    1. Thanks, Meredith. It’s nice if I can pass some of the experience along through words. In some senses this last month or so is the hardest because you know it could happen whenever, but you don’t know WHEN it will be. You just have to let go. Baby will come when its good and ready 🙂

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