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I’m Alive!

Thank you to all those who commented on my last post, and a special thanks to Jennifer who reminded me that I could put Natalie’s legs out now (she is SO much happier and currently sleeping in the wrap, yay, free hands!). It was great to get that off my chest and see the ways in which anyone – regardless of whether they have babies or not – can feel like a bunch of roles rather than a person.

Yesterday I managed to get both girls to sleep (one in bed, one in the basket) and had a half hour in which to write – I finished chapter 3 of the new novel. YAY! I felt so amazing afterwards, as though reading all your lovely comments and getting some writing done instantly made me more substantial.

While the rugby baby-sitting is currently an EPIC FAIL I have hopes for it in the future. Unfortunately, Hubby’s guest pass for the latest Star Craft is expiring tonight and so he’s been skipping out on the rugby in order to play. I think he’s buying the game anyways, so not sure why he feels the need to desperately use ever *free* hour he can get. All good though.

After finishing the chapter I needed the time to think about what happens next. I have plenty to pick and choose from but am feeling a little, nervous, I guess is the right word.

I almost don’t want to read through my old stuff. I’m worried about what I might find there. As much as I want to rewrite, polish, edit and most importantly submit more short stories, I just can’t bring myself to read through any of them yet! I have to bite the bullet and just do it, I know. I think the deeper reasoning is that I’m just not yet feeling like I have the headspace to do that to my own work effectively.

So, it’s onwards. I’m going to start chapter 4, and try to find the right place to start writing the assassin story as well – so many options, but I need to find the right one. I can feel that I almost have it. Almost, and I’m looking forward to writing. I need the fresh stuff right now, to help keep that feeling of being alive.

This morning I have the house pretty much to myself. Sleeping baby, Hubby took both the girls to soccer. A few months ago I’d have used the time to blitz the housework, and while there are piles of dishes to be done and more laundry to be sorted, I’m going to write.

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6 thoughts on “I’m Alive!”

  1. Aw, I’m glad you’re feeling more like you again. You were pretty down in the dumps for a while, there. It’s nice to see you back into writing. Have you decided what you’re going to do next? My internet cut out on me last night so I never got the chance to ask.

  2. yaye for happy mommy and happy baby!!!!!!!!! And you’re writing! wonderful!
    I too fear looking back at my two projects – it wasn’t even that long ago (weeks), but me oh mi, how much has changed since having baby. Every birth seems to change me drastically. So glad to gear you’re alive šŸ™‚

  3. Sometimes a little bit of mild venting is a very good thing. šŸ™‚

    As to older projects, yes, they take a lot of sighing before they are attempted, but having done some work on a few lately, it does feel really satisfying to poke about (or more than just poking) and transform something. Good luck!!

  4. Good on you for playing hooky from the housework. It’ll still be there and I’m sure that’s something the family expects you to be doing while they’re around. šŸ™‚ Good luck on Chapter 4.

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