Every Tuesday for the last several weeks has been rubbish. Not just rubbish, but the beginning of a few days of me being pretty much an emotional wreck, unable to cope with any of the things that are thrown at me on a daily basis. Life is stressful, and I guess that’s the point in the week at which it all gets too much for me.
I hate that I am getting like that, I hate that it ruins my Wednesday as well – but oh so pleased that frequently by Thursday morning,\ my head seems to clear and I can smile again, without faking it.
I have had my fair share of mental health problems in the past, and for this reason I am hyper aware of the fact I’m at an increased risk of getting PND. Every time I hit this low spot in the week I freak out that I’m not going to feel better, which makes the day when I wake up feeling good about life, happy with my situation, that much sweeter.
I know I need more sleep. I know that each of my children currently has a challenge for me and that I’m not dealing with these things as well as I might be (Our eldest is having some extreme behaviour which makes things pretty tense and stressful, the middle child is still teething and not sleeping well at all, and little Natalie is colicky – though we seem to have found something which helps, and hopefully there will be less scream filled evenings in our future). It’s a stressful environment, and I’m still learning to ask for help when I need it.
I am proud though that yesterday when L woke up a tearful mess, and Natalie was screaming – I called in the cavalry. Hubby picked Ivy up from school for me, and then stayed home. We had the girls bathed early, I got to go to the supermarket by myself (20 minutes alone!!!! Longest since Natalie’s birth!), and it was a much less stressful evening. I only asked him to pick Ivy up, not stay home, so it was lovely that he took the initiative and decided my well being was more important than going back to work.
Anyway, it’s Thursday today. Despite Lauren still feeling very off (she has an ear infection), and being awake for half the night – I feel great! I have a new story idea that I am hoping to run with. I have energy back and am ready to get the house under control before the weekend arrives. My head is clear and I haven’t once felt like bursting into tears this morning.
Such a relief.