I’m really struggling to sink into Saving Tomorrow at the moment. There has been a fair chunk of real life stuff going on that’s been filling my head, and let’s face it, the girls are keeping me very busy.
I remember only a few months ago when there was more time for writing. Not that I was necessarily getting more done, but we seem to have moved into a new stage here, one that is more active than ever before – the sunshine certainly helps, but when it comes down to it, I just have very busy kids who love to explore and experiment with things. Fantastic qualities that I want to encourage and support. Which means way less down time.
I’m cool with that. A good friend once said to me (I think this was back when I only had two kids, not three), that it probably wouldn’t be until they were all in school that I’d have the time and head space to write as much as I wanted to. At the time I dismissed that – after all, I’m freaking amazing – but now I can see that there is some sense in it.
It’s not that I don’t have the time (well, it IS limited), or the desire, or the willpower. I will continue to work on getting my short fiction published, I’ll keep chipping away at this novel and I’ll get to ‘the end’ eventually. Just not in my preferred time frame. Which is where the sense comes in. I now see that it wasn’t the time or head space that was the important part of that wisdom, it was the want.
However, I refuse to be frustrated. There are other options, I am sure, I just have to navigate my way through them and find a balance between frustration and apathy. (Which, if I am honest, is where I’m at now – knowing that it’s going to take me forever makes it hard to throw myself into the story. There is just no time for immersion, which is the way I usually like it).
Anyway, once again, I need to shift my expectations. This is a particularly busy time in my children’s lives, one that I want to embrace fully and make the most of. And perhaps that means that I won’t get to 30K on the novel this month. Maybe it means it might take me the rest of the year to get the first draft done. Maybe longer.
And that’s okay.