The first week of November was a strange thing. It was full of highs and lows, and everything in between. I spent the first few days drunk on words. Gleeful, excited and desperate for just a few more minutes to write, just a few, I promise, I can quit any time.
Naturally, it wasn’t long until reality hit home. I have three kids, a husband, a household to run. /sigh
Then Tuesday rolled around and there were 7 kids in my house for the bulk of the day, I got maybe 63 words written, and it knocked my confidence big time. Apparently, I’m still recovering from the years stress as it doesn’t take much to make me stumble. I began to think that I just couldn’t do this. It was ridiculous for me to try to write while home schooling. Totally nuts. Why was I bothering?
I held onto the fact that Wed night I could head to the library for a bit, until I realized it was Guy Fawkes night and town would be swarming with crowds. I decided to brave it anyway, no matter how far I had to park from the library. It started to rain, and I felt no guilt at all when I gleefully thought perhaps the fireworks display would be postponed. Unfortunately, the rain wasn’t just rain, it turned into hail, thunder and lightening. Fireworks were cancelled, but there were several buildings with collapsed ceilings, hail so thick it looked like snow, and I decided it was probably wisest to stay home…
Thursday is normally home schooling stuff, but I managed to get a few words out, and then Friday morning I felt myself getting back into the swing of it – unfortunately, I think it took me until yesterday to really realize what was going on.
I am out of practice. This is the first new draft I’ve written this year, and I’ve lost the art of sneaking in words. I’ve not been writing while cooking dinner, or giving myself 10 minute sprints every day. I can’t write 500 words in ten minutes right now, and I can’t switch my focus as fast as I used to be able to. There was a time that I could be writing, yet have a million distractions and never lose my momentum.
I also realized that for most of my academic writing this year I’ve made a concerted effort to do said writing out of the house, away from the kids, because it’s super hard to write essays with a million distractions. They are out of the practice too.
So I’m going to go a little easier on all of us. Try to remember that I used to do this, and that it wasn’t frustrating, and that I will get back to that place – it just takes practice, for me, and for the kids. We’re all still finding our new normal, and it will take time.
And in the meantime, any words I do get are an absolute joy. Writing makes everything better, so even when I am feeling crappy, grumpy, tired, over it, like there is no point, I should still write.
Highlights of the week include – the many awesome, varied, amazing friends, who’ve helped bolster me and remind me that I’m awesome too.
Our epic bush walk with the home schooling group. Being 100% out of range of all technology (other than my camera) was good for my soul. Pushing myself, using all my muscles, feeling the strength in my body was amazing. We’ll be looking for more long tramps to do in the very near future. I need to get back to the things that feed me.
A friend giving me an awesomely funny one star review for In The Spirit along the lines of “I loved this book, but it was too short and I want more!”, to which I decided that I could totally expand my current work in progress to be a novel – I don’t want to annoy too many readers 😉
Also, Scrivener is behaving itself and we’re getting along nicely so far. Still early days though.