life

Solitude

WP_000384I woke before 5am today, when my littlest came and snuggled into bed next to me. After she’d had enough cuddles she flopped over and went back to sleep, but I lay there, unsure of the time, and decided that rather than try for more sleep I’d get up and start my day before the kids.

It’s not often I get to do this – they are usually earlier birds than I – which is a shame because this used to be the time of day I most enjoyed writing, and now it’s the time of day where people start to wake and fill the space with noise.

At least this morning I have a little solitude. I lit a candle, and I stand here in this dark room just enjoying the quiet for a little longer.

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Updates

So… I have been pretty bad with the blogging over the last couple weeks, but I swear I have good reasons!

I’ve actually been busy with writing. My new novella is sitting just over the 8,000 word mark and growing every day, I’ve had my results back for my first semester paper and got a stunning A- (best mark I have had in ages! And considering my ridiculously busy life, I was pretty chuffed with myself), and am now gearing up to head away for a weekend at Au Contraire.

This will be the first time since having Lauren and Natalie that I will be spending time away from my family, out on my own in the big wide world. And while I am SUPER excited about it, and crazy ready for some time ‘off’ from being a Mum, I’m also really nervous about the whole weekend and being away from my babies for so long (yea I know, a weekend isn’t really that long – just remember I home school, and I’m with them ALL THE TIME). I’m going to miss the heck out of them, I can already tell, and if you do see me over the weekend and it looks like there is something wrong with my arms it’s just because I am used to lugging a 3yr old around with me most of the time and my body isn’t quite sure what normal is outside of that. Maybe I’ll just keep them crossed?

I can’t wait to hit the road, I really can’t. I love driving, and it will be really nice to crank up some of MY music, and sing crazy loud. Some of the other rather mundane things I am looking forward to are:

sleeping all night
not starting my day at 4am
not mediating any kiddie outbreaks/tantrums/arguments for a few days
not being responsible for ensuring everyone is satisfactorily fed/clothed/watered/whatever
not cleaning up after everyone
(hopefully) not being yelled at for three whole days
maybe even sneaking in some writing in peace? Who knows.

I’m also very much looking forward to attending my first ever book launch (for Regeneration), meeting people face to face that I have known online for years, and pushing myself out of my comfort zone (and let’s face it, the entire weekend is out of my comfort zone!). It’s going to be an awesome weekend.

I just have to actually make sure I make it out of the house tomorrow, and stop imagining all the terrible, horrible things that could (but never will) happen.

Deep breaths. I CAN do this.

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I’m alone

in my house… for the first time in almost 14 months. This is a momentous occasion!

I can barely believe it. I keep waiting to hear… something, anything, one child or another calling for me, the husband asking me about something….but nothing.

I wonder how long it will last?

I don’t know what to do with myself. I really don’t…. I expect they’ll return within an hour (I suggested that would be a good time frame cause Lauren will need a nap then, as long as she’s out and about she should be happy though!) and I might just enjoy the novelty of being alone for now. Who knows when it might happen again?

I’m still astounded that it’s happened.

Off to enjoy the peace!