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Out stubborn life

I’ve been struggling a lot lately. Moving regions with three kids in tow proved to be far harder than I thought it would be. I’ve had high points and low points, and it continues to be a bit of a rollercoaster. I’ve been feeling vulnerable in general which has impacted on everything – I’ve been fairly quiet on social media, I’ve gotten sick a few times, my creativity has waned, and I’ve been left wide open to a PTSD flare-up worse than any I’ve had in over a decade.

But I’m still here. I’ll continue to still be here, because carrying on is what I do.

I was reminded of this earlier today when reading an email from one of my lovely clients. They said:

everything-you-have-ever-wanted-is-sitting-on-the-other-side-of-fear

It was a really timely reminder. I have out stubborned life before, and I can totally do it again. I’ve been starting to make moves towards that, chipping off the long list of things that need to happen, and while occasionally I slip and fall, and feel like I lose any forward momentum, I get back up again.

This week those steps were seen in a few different ways. I printed out a bunch of inspiring quotes and laminated them for my future office space. I plastered the holes in the walls of my future office. I finally remembered that I pulled my books out of Kindle Unlimited and put them back up on other distributors, and today I put them all up on PayHip as well. You can find new book links here. Oh and I also tweaked my website a bit. It took far too long to do a very basic job, and I’m still not happy, but I am less unhappy with it than I was this morning.

These things might not be ‘writing’ but they are all steps in the right direction. And I’m a stubborn woman. I’ve got this 😉

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july, life, Uncategorized

On the Move

Once again, it’s been a long time – I have a really good reason this time, though it’s by no means ‘over’ and will mean I lack any rhythm for… well, until whenever it is that things stop being all up in the air.

You see, we’re moving cities! We’d talked about this in the past – I’d said Wellington was the only other place I’d live, he said that he’d be pretty depressed if we still lived in Taranaki in ten years time – and we made a plan. It was a five year plan. It was a plan that meant our eldest would be old enough to babysit the other two, and he would be finished the degree he started working on part time by the time we moved.

That was a year ago.

A few months ago a job cropped up that he was seriously interested in. I said he could apply. He didn’t get it, but by the time that happened we’d all had a massive brain shift which saw him applying for more jobs, me beginning to get my head around the fact this might happen, and the kids bursting at the seams for a move.

And then last week he got an amazing job. And that means we ARE moving, and all of the things that come along with that – prepping our house for sale, house hunting in another city, research research research into good places to live with a family, homeschooling groups, lifestyle, packing, decluttering, crying, saying goodbye – are now here. Big time.

I’m still getting my head around this. It’s not something I have any experience with, but it feels like it will all have happened in no time at all – we’ll be living in a new house, in a new area, far away from our friends and family (well, most of them) before we even really know it, and I have a feeling it’s going to take several months after that until it’s really sunken in and we’re feeling settled. Or me, at least, the kids are busting a gut to get on with it – let’s hope their enthusiasm lasts!

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life, office, writing

And the office is no more…

A few months ago I took a step towards claiming some space in the house that was all mine. It was lovely. I obtained a bookshelf from my brother, all my books came out of the boxes under the bed, and it was a really nice space. I had the illusion of privacy when I needed it, and I really made the most of it.

While it lasted.

I think my favourite thing was having a place for all my bits and pieces that have been stashed away for so long. And curling up in my la-z-boy in the mornings with a book and my coffee. Mmm.

My new space
My new space

Anyway. Eldest turned ten. Eldest has matured to the next level and now requires her own space. I can totally understand. I remember being young. However, our house is small and in order to give her that precious space, I’ve had to move my office again. Back into the lounge.

Now, there are some perks to being in the centre of the home. It’s not far to go to get anywhere else in the house. The kids can find me really easily. It’s warm. It’s also frequently noisy. But I can deal with that. I have some excellent headphones that cut out some of the noise and make it a little easier to focus. I am happy with the move, and eldest is REALLY happy to have her own room.

IMG_20150602_124128948And I finally received a package I’ve been waiting for, which went a long way to soften the loss of my office. Recently my go-to bag has begun to break, so a few weeks ago I went searching for a replacement and fell in love with this one. Meow!!! It’s the perfect size for my SP3 and everything else I need. ❤

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Furniture Tetris

All night. Every single time I woke (as well as in my dreams) I was playing furniture tetris.

I know the size of our trailer. I know which items of furniture I’d like to move today – so it’s just down to deciding on the most efficient load configuration I can get. And I think I have it!

Yes, I know I’m crazy, and obsessive at times. It’s indicative of my all consuming desire to get moving, my excitement of being in the new house and the knowledge that this morning I can make some real progress!

I was up at 550am this morning… Lauren had just been fed and I snuck out of bed thinking that while I couldn’t start packing (too noisy) I could get some solid writing done. As always, she woke within ten minutes, bed is just not where she wants to be unless I am there with her.

So here we sit. Blogs have been read, all my normal sites have been visited, email has been cleared…. Ivy is awake. Morning routine: she calls out “muuuuuuummmmmyyyyy’ and I respond either ‘no, its too early!’ or ‘you can get up Ivy’. This morning I said ‘it’s too early, but you can get up anyway’ – she’s still in bed though and I haven’t heard a peep from her in 20mins lol. I guess she stopped listening after I said it was too early. Ah well!!

This morning I want to load up the car boot with boxes, line all the furniture up by the sliding doors – that way as soon as I’m back from dropping Ivy at preschool I can start loading. The girls should all be arriving shortly after that.

I’m so excited.

Oh and Mum is helping me clean this afternoon. It’s all falling into place. So exciting.

Right. Hubby’s alarm just went off.

The day officially begins!!!

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Wednesday

Time is really flying by at the moment. It feels like only yesterday it was December 1st, now it’s the 17th.

Plunket nurse comes today and I am looking forward to seeing how much Lauren has grown since the nurse was here two weeks ago. Baby is being very sleep resistant in the day at the moment… we had some really great days, and now it’s flipped back the other way. Ah well, we’ll get there eventually I guess!

We had dinner with Dad last night which was nice. He’s given me the number of the person at the bank I need to call in regards to the house and potential mortgage. Fingers crossed it all goes well! Something else to focus on – though it looks like it could be late January before we can start going ahead with it all. I’m already daydreaming about it, and every time our neighbours have a noisy party (2-3 times a week) I can’t wait to get out of here!

Anyway, it’s back to work on Lifelines today. It was sidelined a little recently so that I could clear everything else out of the way. I think a little bit of that was procrastination, but I’m into it now, well and truly.