life, writing

Post study – update one

I’m about 10 days out of student life, and while things are looking good, there are certainly carryovers of study life that I am yet to shake.

Like, the horrible level of anxiety which crept up on me over the last few months. I think that this will start to dissipate once a few thing happen – namely, I have the results of my final assignments back and know 100% without a doubt that I’m done. And when I have Lauren’s home schooling approval sorted as well. Right now, both of those things are weighing on my mind an awful lot, to the point where some days it’s hard to get motivated to do anything outside of be here with my kids and facilitate their awesome learning experiences. I’m really enjoying just being with them and not thinking about the essay I should be working on.

However, I still feel like I should be working on an essay!!! This year was intense as I took on a halftime course load on top of life (which is always busy anyway). I have these little panic attacks where I’m sure I’ve forgotten something. I check frequently that I actually DID hand in those last assignments on time and that there aren’t any I somehow forgot about – I guess having that wrong final date in mine for the last one is probably to thank for this. Again, I hope this will be over once I have those final grades. It would be kind of awesome if I could get through a few days without having an anxiety/panic attack or freaking myself out.

I love the irony that I’ve got a Post Grad Diploma in Counselling but can’t seem to talk myself into feeling better about all of this. I know all the techniques, but it’s always harder to apply them to oneself 😉

In more positive news, I managed to take that week off (mostly)! Afterwards, I realized I probably need more like a month, in a isolated cabin, where someone else is catering to my every need and I can just sleep 16 hours a day and read the rest. Unfortunately, that’s never going to happen, so I am going to have to try and take it easy on myself over the next wee while, and let myself take breaks when I need them. I’ve come to realize that I feel responsible for much more than I really am, and am working on stepping back and shaking loose some things I don’t need/want anymore.

And, finally, in some writing news, I am working on my final final final edit for In The Spirit!! This novella will be released on Dec 1st, and I’m thoroughly excited about it! I’ll share more in the near future, once I have my head around the whole thing 🙂

I hope you guys are all doing well! Can you believe it’s November soon? I’m trying not to get panicky about that. It doesn’t take much right now though lol.

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oh my gosh…

I’m having a baby next month.

I was looking around the baby forum I’m on and someone mentioned that it’s the 1st of October, which means that it’s November really soon.

*tries not to hyperventilate*

Next month sounds a whole lot closer than 6 weeks.

I’m so ready in so many ways, but I’m also really not. Does that even make sense? I can’t wait to meet my little girl, but wow, next month? How did that get here so quickly? Another few weeks and I know I’ll be wishing it was closer, but wow, next month? really?

*takes several long deep breaths*

I am battling with excitement and panic, lol it’s an interesting mix and makes it hard to think about anything other than the fact that it’s November next month.

I fully understand that most people I know are excited about November because of NaNoWriMo, but right now it doesn’t even register lol. So, sorry in advance, I do care, really I do, I just kind of care more about this life inside me and getting it into the world safely. I’ll be here, I’ll be cheering you all on and helping with any plot problems or other issues that come up – you’ll just have to allow for me to be obsessing about baby stuff as well.

Ok, now for some math to calm myself down:

If this novel does work out to be around 95K and I’m currently sitting at almost 54K, that leaves me 41K to write. 41K divided by 1.5K written per day means that I should finish this baby up in 28 days or so.

28 days, that’s a good number. It’s before the end of the month, that’s a good thing. It means that if I do for some crazy reason accept the 25K November challenge I’ll have some time to plan ahead for that…

Yeah, I am crazy.

I need to go and clean something.