‘…going off the rails on a crazy train’

I left the house tonight briefly to get nappies, we were out, all the clothies are drying, dire situation and this is the first time it’s ever happened (I mean, we had two in the nappy bag, but that’s lower than I like to be, just in case). On the way to the car I briefly thought about the dog Ivy claims to have seen around our house and wondered whether it was still lurking around. I had this image in my head of a menacing beast, vicious fangs, saliva dripping from its mouth. Then I briefly thought about an arm shooting out from beneath the car to grab my leg, and as I unlocked the door and slipped into the seat I wondered whether there was anyone hiding in the back.

Oh yeah, I’m losing it!

I know that when I’m tired and unbalanced I start to get a little paranoid. It’s happened for years now and at least I’m together enough to know that it IS just paranoia, and be okay about it. As a psych graduate I also know that challenging my ‘irrational beliefs’ is one of the best ways to disprove them and get over my paranoia, so that’s what I do.

Regardless, it’s a sign that I need to ease up on myself a bit, find a little more balance in life and work at destressing somewhat. Not entirely sure how I’m going to do that, but I guess I’ll come up with something.

I started today (or attempted to) with the purchase of a pretty new journal. I seem to have misplaced all my old ones in the last two moves, so I’m leaving it on the headboard so that I can write when I’m in bed, take notes, whatever.

Anyway, almost time to sleep. Wish me luck!


2 thoughts on “‘…going off the rails on a crazy train’”

  1. it is a fine line, with family, self, house, nappies… 🙂

    I had been going on all cylinders until a few months back, when I just started pulling back on the writing, freeing my evenings. I hadn’t realized how much I was sucked in; hubby’s at his PC at night, so was I with the work. but that needed to change, and I’ve been spending my evenings with other projects, not easy at first, but now I’m happy for that down time.

    harder with wee ones, but yeah, we all need to step back at points, knowing what needs to be done will get accomplished. and what slips away… well, you got those nappies, and you have that journal. there you are…

  2. I think it is probably just a matter if finding some down time – without sacrificing anything, which seems to be the difficult part 😉 Sometimes I think it’s not actually the number of things I’m doing, but the pressure I put on myself to get them done (I hope that makes sense! lol).

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