I’ll reward you well for it, if you can find it. I’ve lost my creepy, my dark and disturbing. I don’t know where, or when, but it’s gone and I miss it!
I first noticed it was absent last month when I tried to write a creepy flash fiction piece. I had nothing.
I tried to delve into Delaney, but came up empty.
I thought that I was lacking in all ideas, but it’s simply those involving squick factor. It’s gone…
I can write nice. I can tug heart strings and play a full range of emotions, but I just can’t seem to find a disturbing idea anywhere. I’m reading ROMANCE people, and not finding it repulsive. I’m coming up with ideas which are lovely, and on some levels it sickens me. It’s just so wrong. *shudders*
What is going on with me? I’m pleased I have any ideas at all, to be honest, but I’m deeply disturbed by my…inability to disturb. I thought that was one of my things. I thought that was a part of who I am. Will it come back?
Not saying I don’t have odd things inside any more. I do. Just… well, the horror is gone, the twisted and sick. And I do miss it. It’s been there for so long now, it’s like a piece of me is missing. I have a bunch of old story ideas which require some of that squick factor, and I just don’t know if I can pull them off anymore.
I’ll keep writing, keep working, enjoy what I have – and maybe one day some of that horror will rise to the top again. Oh well, if I can’t disturb you, I’ll damn well make you feel something else instead. Just you watch.